Empathys
08-29-2008, 05:56 PM
An acquaintance of mine on another forums got tired of seeing all the "I'm Leaving" threads that populated the site. So he made up this quick (not really) guide to quitting an MMORPG!
Now, I’ve noticed that quitting seems to be causing some people a lot of trouble. But don’t worry, Flan is here to help!
It seems as though people often get their terminology mixed up. A quick search of dictionary.com shows the definition of quit as being: “to stop, cease, or discontinue”. Translated into terms relating to the game, this would be something along the lines of: “stop playing, cease to log on”. It may not seem apparent at first, but this is slightly different from: “post a thread as a plea for attention/to see if anyone cares, then log back on” as most people seem to understand the term as.
Now that we are familiar with what we are doing, let’s move on to the process of pretending to do it. I assume that if you are considering quitting, that you already have your reason for doing so. But just in case, we’ll go over some examples. I will post the solution to each, so simply choose the method that applies closest to your situation.
[Note: If you are reading this, you know as well as I do that actually quitting is beyond you, so we’re going to work out how to return while keeping some respect].
Reason 1: “I have experienced an increase in real world responsibilities, and simply don’t have the time to continue playing”.
Solution: This is an unfortunate scenario, but can be a valid one none the less. The first step is optional, but involves explaining your situation to those in game who will care. [IMPORTANT: It is vital that this is done in game, posting on the forums will appear to be a plea for attention, and will cause those who might have cared to cease doing so]. The next step is to simply log off. Complete the process by uninstalling, though this step seems to have some bugs, as nobody has ever managed to complete it.
This is the point where you realize you never actually intended to quit, deep down you just wanted some attention. You must now occasionally drop in and visit, but not for long periods of time or for more than one day in succession. You must gradually increase the duration and frequency of these visits until you are actively playing again. Beware, if the hiatus did not last several months at least, you risk suffering the same consequences as if you had posted on the forums. This is the only known method of fake quitting that can avoid negative side effects.
IMPORTANT: On these occasional visits, or if you return, you must NOT continually drop hints about how old a player you are, or talk about “the way things used to be”. I know it’s hard, after all, you only pretended to quit for attention in the first place. But despite what you may believe, this is not an achievement, and you should not expect to gain unwarranted respect for it.
Also, when you do return, you must not post about it on the forums. This is attention whoring, and will undo all your hard work.
Congratulations! You have successfully returned from a fake quit and gotten away with it!
Reason 2: “I’ve simply just lost interest in the game”
Solution: This is an interesting case. This can in fact be a valid excuse, but is also a popular, blatant “give me attention” method. If you are genuine, then simply taking a short to intermediate break from the game may be a better idea, this leaves the ever popular “change of heart a week later” as an option, though this will not come without criticism. In any case, explain, in a mature fashion, the situation to a few friends in game. Once again, you must not post on the forums. This reason is less valid than the previous, and a forum post WILL be seen as a plea for attention. This will cause ridicule and a large drop in respect in the eyes of others. Once these instructions have been followed, continue on. If you have made an error following the instructions, go back and start over, though be warned, you may have already ruined your clean escape beyond repair. The rest of this method is as the first, with subtle variations. If you did mess up, you must now get hold of a character service ticket and get a name change. This will not help, but appears popular none the less.
Note that in this scenario, occasional visits must not be attempted for at least a month. Also, be sure at least 3 months have passed before returning, 6-12 if you used the word “quit” at any time during the above process.
Once again, you must not make a thread about your return, as you would receive the same results as above, though slightly amplified.
Reason 3: “ppl keep kilin mi” or if you were exercising the previous method only as a means of garnering attention.
Solution: The ideal solution for you would be to simply log out and uninstall the game, followed by disposing of your computer over the nearest cliff. This is foolproof and effective. However, I know that this is beyond you, so please scroll down to the next paragraph. A paragraph is a small chunk of text.
Now, you are a special yet all too common case. None of the above rules apply, as you already have no respect from anybody. Feel free to post on the forums; you probably won’t understand the flames you receive anyway. Once this is done, proceed to the next section.
Now that your attention seeking thread is dead and beaten, you may proceed to log back onto the game. Expect a great deal more negative attention over the next week or so, but be glad, attention is attention, and this is the only kind you are able to receive. If this also dies down, feel free to repeat the process. The attention will be fiercer and longer lasting than the first time. This rule applies further; expect better results each time you do this, until a certain number has been passed. The exact number is as yet unknown, but at this point the method will become ineffective, and nobody will care. Think “the boy who cried wolf”.
Of course, on the off chance you actually plan to quit, there is an ideal way to do so, that works regardless of the reason. It simply involves this: First, tell nobody of your intentions. Second, gradually log on less and less, until you eventually cease to log on at all. Lastly, uninstall the game. As a different option for step 2, simply cease logging on immediately. I would have gone into more detail, but it would be redundant. Those who use this method don’t need guidance on the process; they already know how it works. Unfortunately these people are few and far between.
So, although your reason for “quitting” may differ from those mentioned above, one of these techniques is bound to work for you. Good luck, and happy fake quitting.
Hah~. Okay, if you took this seriously you might need to quit the internets altogether. This was merely for fun and I thought it appropriate since there about a dozen "quitting" threads just in the Bijou forums alone. >.>
Note: This actually got added to the "Game Guide" list of user-submitted guides. =] Someone on the Staff had a sense of humour.
Now, I’ve noticed that quitting seems to be causing some people a lot of trouble. But don’t worry, Flan is here to help!
It seems as though people often get their terminology mixed up. A quick search of dictionary.com shows the definition of quit as being: “to stop, cease, or discontinue”. Translated into terms relating to the game, this would be something along the lines of: “stop playing, cease to log on”. It may not seem apparent at first, but this is slightly different from: “post a thread as a plea for attention/to see if anyone cares, then log back on” as most people seem to understand the term as.
Now that we are familiar with what we are doing, let’s move on to the process of pretending to do it. I assume that if you are considering quitting, that you already have your reason for doing so. But just in case, we’ll go over some examples. I will post the solution to each, so simply choose the method that applies closest to your situation.
[Note: If you are reading this, you know as well as I do that actually quitting is beyond you, so we’re going to work out how to return while keeping some respect].
Reason 1: “I have experienced an increase in real world responsibilities, and simply don’t have the time to continue playing”.
Solution: This is an unfortunate scenario, but can be a valid one none the less. The first step is optional, but involves explaining your situation to those in game who will care. [IMPORTANT: It is vital that this is done in game, posting on the forums will appear to be a plea for attention, and will cause those who might have cared to cease doing so]. The next step is to simply log off. Complete the process by uninstalling, though this step seems to have some bugs, as nobody has ever managed to complete it.
This is the point where you realize you never actually intended to quit, deep down you just wanted some attention. You must now occasionally drop in and visit, but not for long periods of time or for more than one day in succession. You must gradually increase the duration and frequency of these visits until you are actively playing again. Beware, if the hiatus did not last several months at least, you risk suffering the same consequences as if you had posted on the forums. This is the only known method of fake quitting that can avoid negative side effects.
IMPORTANT: On these occasional visits, or if you return, you must NOT continually drop hints about how old a player you are, or talk about “the way things used to be”. I know it’s hard, after all, you only pretended to quit for attention in the first place. But despite what you may believe, this is not an achievement, and you should not expect to gain unwarranted respect for it.
Also, when you do return, you must not post about it on the forums. This is attention whoring, and will undo all your hard work.
Congratulations! You have successfully returned from a fake quit and gotten away with it!
Reason 2: “I’ve simply just lost interest in the game”
Solution: This is an interesting case. This can in fact be a valid excuse, but is also a popular, blatant “give me attention” method. If you are genuine, then simply taking a short to intermediate break from the game may be a better idea, this leaves the ever popular “change of heart a week later” as an option, though this will not come without criticism. In any case, explain, in a mature fashion, the situation to a few friends in game. Once again, you must not post on the forums. This reason is less valid than the previous, and a forum post WILL be seen as a plea for attention. This will cause ridicule and a large drop in respect in the eyes of others. Once these instructions have been followed, continue on. If you have made an error following the instructions, go back and start over, though be warned, you may have already ruined your clean escape beyond repair. The rest of this method is as the first, with subtle variations. If you did mess up, you must now get hold of a character service ticket and get a name change. This will not help, but appears popular none the less.
Note that in this scenario, occasional visits must not be attempted for at least a month. Also, be sure at least 3 months have passed before returning, 6-12 if you used the word “quit” at any time during the above process.
Once again, you must not make a thread about your return, as you would receive the same results as above, though slightly amplified.
Reason 3: “ppl keep kilin mi” or if you were exercising the previous method only as a means of garnering attention.
Solution: The ideal solution for you would be to simply log out and uninstall the game, followed by disposing of your computer over the nearest cliff. This is foolproof and effective. However, I know that this is beyond you, so please scroll down to the next paragraph. A paragraph is a small chunk of text.
Now, you are a special yet all too common case. None of the above rules apply, as you already have no respect from anybody. Feel free to post on the forums; you probably won’t understand the flames you receive anyway. Once this is done, proceed to the next section.
Now that your attention seeking thread is dead and beaten, you may proceed to log back onto the game. Expect a great deal more negative attention over the next week or so, but be glad, attention is attention, and this is the only kind you are able to receive. If this also dies down, feel free to repeat the process. The attention will be fiercer and longer lasting than the first time. This rule applies further; expect better results each time you do this, until a certain number has been passed. The exact number is as yet unknown, but at this point the method will become ineffective, and nobody will care. Think “the boy who cried wolf”.
Of course, on the off chance you actually plan to quit, there is an ideal way to do so, that works regardless of the reason. It simply involves this: First, tell nobody of your intentions. Second, gradually log on less and less, until you eventually cease to log on at all. Lastly, uninstall the game. As a different option for step 2, simply cease logging on immediately. I would have gone into more detail, but it would be redundant. Those who use this method don’t need guidance on the process; they already know how it works. Unfortunately these people are few and far between.
So, although your reason for “quitting” may differ from those mentioned above, one of these techniques is bound to work for you. Good luck, and happy fake quitting.
Hah~. Okay, if you took this seriously you might need to quit the internets altogether. This was merely for fun and I thought it appropriate since there about a dozen "quitting" threads just in the Bijou forums alone. >.>
Note: This actually got added to the "Game Guide" list of user-submitted guides. =] Someone on the Staff had a sense of humour.