Escape the Raptors [Archive]

unit12p

05-22-2009, 05:54 PM

Ok, I saw this on the xkcd Fourms <Linkage Removed> and i thought it would be cool to have here.

(note the other one is 28 pages long o.o)

So its like this:

We all know that eventually Raptors will get bored and decide to rise up and take over the rest of the world. Most likely this will happen after Fox cancels one too many a Whedon show or if enough Lindsey Lohan/ Paris Hilton clones propogate and form a critical "Annoying celebrity 'bad girl'" mass.

At that point, raptors of course will consume the flesh of humans everywhere leading to the new Saurian Empire.

There is no hope for human kind.

But you might be able to live a little longer.

Rules of the game:
Posters alternate posting escapes for raptors and then how the raptors will eventually bypass said escape.

Ex.
Poster A posts: I'm going to hide in a locked bunker with enough food to last them out.
Poster B posts: The raptors have the key and one of them snuck in with you before you closed the door.

i start:

I hide in a car with indefenit gas, food, internet, and waterproof metal. i also hide inside with some sort of wepon incase of breach.

codyskates

05-22-2009, 05:56 PM

O.o! Seems like an actual interesting forum game :D Hmmm.. The raptors get in the car before you close the door and take your weapon and beat you to death :D

codyskates

05-22-2009, 05:57 PM

Sorry bout the double post? X_X I don't feel like editing the first one.. But do I need to write a new story?

unit12p

05-22-2009, 05:58 PM

yes

and because u didnt u die without a plan :P

um... i go to top of empire state building with unlimited ammo, guns, and food + water

oh and u can keep playing if u die... lol try again :P

adma4ss0

05-22-2009, 07:50 PM

one of the raptors are slightly taller than the empire state building and take all your stuff... then push your off...

I hide in open space with unlimeted stuff and an ice shield which beats everything which used to be in the PvP KQ and I'm bored... *goes to play Fiesta*

UzumakiW

05-22-2009, 08:08 PM

The raptor breaths fire, so he melts the ice shield.

I hide in my closet with a stick and a rock.

badfury

05-22-2009, 08:13 PM

He break in and eat the stick and rock then start eating you.
I hide in rock.

THr3eS01di3Rs

05-22-2009, 08:19 PM

A Raptor somehow discovers the wonder of explosives and blows the rock up...meaning you with it =O

Im hiding in the raptor hide out, they will be to busy looking for everyone else elsewhr to look for me >=D

mage_way14

05-22-2009, 08:26 PM

One of them finds you and kills you.

I mindwash them all and become there leader

adma4ss0

05-22-2009, 08:41 PM

You accidentally press the "dishwash" button and they find you and kill you

I hide in a giant piece of pie *sees it coming*

badfury

05-22-2009, 09:04 PM

They eat you DUh LOL NOOB!
I hide in a bomb-proof rock LOLOL HOTWHEEL BEAT THAT!

adma4ss0

05-22-2009, 09:15 PM

Unfortunately it's not bunny proof...
*throws a bunny at the rock*
>.>

I'm invisible and in disguise as a raptor and the raptors never find out

erick-

05-22-2009, 09:20 PM

One of the raptors finds an infrared detector unit and then eats you

I will arm myself with a doom ray to defend myself with, employ elite alien bodyguards each also armed with doom rays to provide additional defense, and build an underground shelter with unlimited supplies, power, internet access, and anything else I could possibly need/want

THr3eS01di3Rs

05-23-2009, 06:16 AM

The raptors pay your body guards and they turn and kill you. Soooo the guards employed by the raptors killed you, meaning the raptors killed you =p

I blow myself up so the raptors can't kill me =p

mage_way14

05-23-2009, 07:18 AM

They resurect you, then kill you.

I run around naked.

adma4ss0

05-23-2009, 07:49 AM

they kill you with their claws cuz they dun want to eat you

I like pie, I throw it at the raptor and use a permanent invincible shield on me that can take any damage and cannot be removed with a "use this to remove/take an invince shield" item/move.

WHAT NOW? O_o

erick-

05-23-2009, 08:54 PM

The raptors carry you into a hole and bury you alive

I will dig a giant hole, fill it with raptor repellent, then build a water-proof shelter with unlimited supplies, power, internet access, and anything else I could possibly need/want in it. I will make the shelter out of solid raptor repellent, lock all the doors, and live in it for the rest of my life.

unit12p

05-24-2009, 01:11 PM

eventualy the repelent reaches its exeration date, which makes it useless, and blow up ur sheild, eating the pecies of flesh flying thru the air :D

i spray one with human scent, makeing another one eat it, making that one relize how good raptor is, and be comes a cannible with his partners, killing all raptors? idk sounds good to me o.O

caesarkoning

05-24-2009, 02:04 PM

He will become so hungry he'll get Mad in it's head and (thinking you're a raptor) Eats YOU! :D

I'll go to the Moon D:

unit12p

05-24-2009, 03:12 PM

space raptors...

i build a machine that gives me a spinning saw blade 15' in diamiter around myself

erick-

05-24-2009, 04:55 PM

You accidentally cut yourself in half in the process, and now the raptors are eating your remains.

I will build myself a raptor-proof space ship, spray it with permanent raptor repellent so powerful that any raptor that gets close to it dies, and escape this planet in said space ship.

fireyair

05-24-2009, 04:59 PM

Teh Raptors has L453R5.

I will negotiate terms with the raptors, and using my debating skills I will have them understand how much of their time would be wasted on tyranny, and how they should allow me to control the Earth in their stead.

Peace:cool:

erick-

05-24-2009, 05:07 PM

Your "negotiating" only made you more appetizing to the raptors, and they eat you immediately

I will arm myself with a big laser gun, kill the raptors, and save the Earth

fireyair

05-24-2009, 05:09 PM

They will get a bigger gun.

I will cross-breed lab animals to create Raptor-eating chipmunks.

Peace:cool:

erick-

05-24-2009, 05:12 PM

Your raptor-eating chipmunks eventually get bored of defending you from the Raptors and decide to tell the raptors where you are instead. They then kill you and eat you.

To protect myself from the evil raptors, I will put on impenetrable armor, set up impenetrable barricades around me, arm myself with an unlimited ammunition, high tech, indestructible, super-powerful, anti-raptor doom ray, place indestructible, infinitely reusable raptor traps everywhere that will kill the raptors, spray myself with permanent raptor repellent, surround myself with automatic, unlimited ammunition, indestructible, super-powerful anti-air gun turrets (to prevent the possibility of an aerial attack and kill any and all raptors trying to jump over my defenses), and eat raptor for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

fireyair

05-24-2009, 05:18 PM

Nice defense you got there.

The old "sit there and do nothing" ploy. I like it.

Peace:cool:

unit12p

05-25-2009, 08:56 AM

( @ erick )

The raptors, using their highly inteliant minds, invent a machine that turns them invisble. When your asleep, they pick the lock on your door of the bunker or w/e u got, silently aproach you... and yea ur dead.

I hide in Antartica, where the cold-blooded raptors would never dare come, unless they didnt fear death.

erick-

05-25-2009, 09:41 AM

( @ erick )

The raptors, using their highly inteliant minds, invent a machine that turns them invisble. When your asleep, they pick the lock on your door of the bunker or w/e u got, silently aproach you... and yea ur dead.

There is no door or entrance of any kind!

^ You die of hypothermia

unit12p

05-25-2009, 10:06 AM

There is no door or entrance of any kind!

how'd u get in then?

u die of lack of plan

i turn myself into pixles, hiding in the interwebs as a peice of a picture, of a line of coding for a game.

Andrewnester

05-25-2009, 10:18 AM

one of the raptors happen to be a super computer genious and download you.
They then print you out on a peice of paper and ut you threw the shredder HAHAHA..

I am so scared, *jumps off a tall building*
I won't die by you! i Will kill myself ^^..
While falling............

adma4ss0

05-25-2009, 11:30 AM

... a raptor kills you... ._.

I am inincible to everything and can neer get sick and my invinciblity will neer reach it's expiration date and I have acess to the internet food and water. :3

unit12p

05-25-2009, 12:26 PM

the raptors carry u off and throw u off a canyon, breaking ur bones so tht u live in agont for rest of eterinty

i kill one, gut it, and use its skin as a desguise and live amoung the raptors o.O

adma4ss0

05-25-2009, 12:56 PM

.
I am invincible to everything and can never get sick and my invinciblity will never reach it's expiration date and I have acess to the internet food and water. :3

the raptors carry u off and throw u off a canyon, breaking ur bones so tht u live in agont for rest of eterinty

i kill one, gut it, and use its skin as a desguise and live amoung the raptors o.O

Ahem...

you get found out and die

I am invincible to everything and can never get sick and my invinciblity will never reach it's expiration date and I have acess to the internet food and water. :3

now try again ._.

erick-

05-25-2009, 02:38 PM

When the raptors figure out that they cannot kill you, they imprison you in an indestructible, inescapable steel cage instead

I will build a castle and live in it for the rest of my life killing raptors using my high tech laser gun

autchiewicz

05-25-2009, 02:42 PM

i have an entirely new option,trade Chris Bosh and keep Andrea Bargnarni and throw Jose Calderon off a bridge(if you know sports,you understand)

adma4ss0

05-25-2009, 02:49 PM

^w...t...h

When the raptors figure out that they cannot kill you, they imprison you in an indestructible, inescapable steel cage instead

I will build a castle and live in it for the rest of my life killing raptors using my high tech laser gun

The raptors eat your castle and your lazor and you

I hide in a neighbors house

mage_way14

05-25-2009, 06:09 PM

The raptors kill your neighbors, and you.

I Play dead so they dont wanna kill me.

adma4ss0

05-25-2009, 06:29 PM

one of them accidentally stomps on you while strolling for a walk

I play dead and I'm invincible and they don't wana kill me >.>

erick-

05-27-2009, 05:15 PM

^ Cheater!

To escape the raptors, I will hide in the sewers and spray it with permanent raptor repellent every day for the rest of my life

Agile61

05-27-2009, 05:28 PM

^ Cheater!

To escape the raptors, I will hide in the sewers and spray it with permanent raptor repellent every day for the rest of my life

A raptor births another raptor that doesnt mind the spray and he eats u.

I turn into Superman and fly off to Krypton(Superman's Home Planet)

universalmaster001

05-27-2009, 08:01 PM

but a raptor turns into super raptor folows you kills you and everyone on krypton
lol
id make a virus to kill all the raptors solving the problem and i take over the world in their place

unit12p

05-28-2009, 01:18 PM

Problem... its kills humans too also a raptor has a mutation that it is unaffected by viruses, so when u realese it u kill urself, and the unaffected breed and make the whole raptor population over again, all unaffected by deisiess ( yea idk how to spell it )

Ok best idea yet, i use super science skills to make a functional never-battery-running-out lightsaber, and i find that i have microscopice bacteria in my bloodstream called Miticlohiain, giving me the force. I use my Force Mind Trick to make the raptors feel there is no use to eating me, and the ones with strong minds i kill with my lightsaber. i live my life normaly, and / or i build a house in the seiara desert and live as a hermit. ( wow that paragraph made me feel like a super-uber nerd writting it >< )