UzumakiW
06-12-2009, 01:21 PM
Found this about a year ago and dug it back up when I was going through some old things. I got a good kick out of it back then and still do. Thought it might be funny to share. Not sure if any has read them before, but oh well. I left out two that could be considered not allowed to use. They aren't offensive or anything, but I don't want to risk getting busted for them. So, here's why the chicken crossed the road according to some famous people:
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD??
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The
chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the
need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on
the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to
cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure
-- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't
about me.......
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he
must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it
goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need
to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the
road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against
it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in
his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace .
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This
new platform is much more stable and will never cra...----#@&&^(C%
...... "reboot".
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
**** CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
PARIS HILTON:
The chicken crossed the road to like obviously get to the other side, who doesn't know that joke, i meen yesterday when i...omg what a cute purse! Daddy I so need it. *buys purse* That's Hot. So yea the moral of the story is. Chickens look hot with Coach purses, i wonder if chickens feathers would make a good purses?
Simon Cowwel:
What type of disgusting question is that?
you call that a joke? That was howible. Just hwoible, It was so kareoki, what am i at a Gay chicken bar? sewiousleh, I mean Come On People! This isn't a bar, this is a competition. NEXT!
R2D2:
*beep*(*&%%#^*%(_*^#_(&(*@45@%#@&.
Chicken.
Pope:
The chicken crossed the road to become closer to God. This is a forshadowing on the future life of the Chicken.
Jesus said that everyone is God's child.
This is an example, the chicken did not literally cross the road. He shot for the load.
*COUGH COUGH* He shot the for the other side of the road.
*embarassed*
God loves us all.
Amen.
Fiesta member ones
Zippy:
The chicken crossed the road cause it wanted to...end of story...the end xD
Hm...the chicken crossed the road cuz there was a sign tht said "chicken, come here"
WinterCast:
The chicken crossed the road because he knew I would fire blast him and eat him for dinner as fried chicken.
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD??
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The
chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the
need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on
the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to
cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure
-- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't
about me.......
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he
must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it
goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need
to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the
road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against
it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in
his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace .
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This
new platform is much more stable and will never cra...----#@&&^(C%
...... "reboot".
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
**** CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
PARIS HILTON:
The chicken crossed the road to like obviously get to the other side, who doesn't know that joke, i meen yesterday when i...omg what a cute purse! Daddy I so need it. *buys purse* That's Hot. So yea the moral of the story is. Chickens look hot with Coach purses, i wonder if chickens feathers would make a good purses?
Simon Cowwel:
What type of disgusting question is that?
you call that a joke? That was howible. Just hwoible, It was so kareoki, what am i at a Gay chicken bar? sewiousleh, I mean Come On People! This isn't a bar, this is a competition. NEXT!
R2D2:
*beep*(*&%%#^*%(_*^#_(&(*@45@%#@&.
Chicken.
Pope:
The chicken crossed the road to become closer to God. This is a forshadowing on the future life of the Chicken.
Jesus said that everyone is God's child.
This is an example, the chicken did not literally cross the road. He shot for the load.
*COUGH COUGH* He shot the for the other side of the road.
*embarassed*
God loves us all.
Amen.
Fiesta member ones
Zippy:
The chicken crossed the road cause it wanted to...end of story...the end xD
Hm...the chicken crossed the road cuz there was a sign tht said "chicken, come here"
WinterCast:
The chicken crossed the road because he knew I would fire blast him and eat him for dinner as fried chicken.