Orchids_Mantis
01-28-2010, 05:33 PM
I know it's a bit late to be talking about Christmas, but I just wanted to write down the story of the best Christmas joke gift I've ever done, and see what people think about it :D
So at my job, we do a Secret Santa thing each winter at a staff Christmas party (breakfast, some games, etc). For those that dn't know, secret santa is where people take small pieces of paper, write their names down, then toss them into a bag, which is then tumbled a bit to mix up the names. People then draw out 1 pice of paper, and whoever's name you draw (excepting your own), you must buy that person a gift for Christmas without telling them you will do so (hence the "Secret" in "secret Santa"). Well...we have a spending limit on the gift, and I didn't know much about the person whose name I drew, so I got him a goft card to a place, where he could exchange the card for a giftcard to several other places (that way he could get something he liked). Now, I had a tradition of making my wrapping jobs difficult on the person getting my gift, and as this was my last year with them, I wanted to do something that would remain a talked at for several Christmas parties to come.
The day of the staff Christmas party arrived, and after a few games and a potluck (everyone brings somethng to eat/drink) breakfast, we moved on to the gift-giving. I was one of the last to be called, but my gft was among the most anticipated -I had acquired a reputation for my wrapping jobs, and everyone wanted to see if I could top my previous year's gift boxes (A 27 inch TV box was the starter, it had two 15 pound weights in it to make the pperson think I may have actually gotten a TV, there were a total of five boxes that person had to unwrap -most of which I ws able to reuse in later gift wrapping).
I called the name of the person whose name I had drawn a month prior, and he walked forward and received from me a 13 inch by 13 inch box (the largest the UPS store would sell me without me actuaally shipping something). With a chuckle and a grin, he began unwrapping trhe first box, letting out an unsurprised laugh at finding another box inside that.
He took out the second box and unwrapped it, and found another box -only inches smaller than the second. He pulled out the third box, which, while wrapped, did not require unwrapping as the top was removable. He took off the top of the third box, placed the lid aside, and pulled out a very small -about 6 inches long by 4 inches high- fourth box, wrapped in aluminum foil (to be used for grilling later). Next to this fourth box, though, were 3 items: A hammer, a ntcracker, and a pair of scissors. He looked at me in confusion, I grinned and told him, "You're gonna need those in a bit."
With a confused and slightly worried look, he unfolded the aluminum foil around the fourth box, opening it to find, a fifth box.
He paused, looking back and forth between me and this new box...because this wasn't simply a box...it was a special box. People clammored around to look, laughing as he withdrew a 3 inch by 3 inch box -made entirely out of toothpicks (yes, I actually made a box out of toothpicks). He looked at me, asking how to open it, to which I smirked and reminded him I had provided him with a hammer.
So he takes the hammer and WHAM! Off comes one side, and out rolls...something. It's tiny, about the size of his thumb -and about the same shape, based on the wrapping paper around it. He unwraps the item, then stops. After a moment's hesitation he looks up at me, "You got me a walnut?" Most people in the room are laughing, thinking I really did just get him a walnut; but my grin grows larger and people's eyes widen as I hand him the nutcracker and say, "Open it."
"You can't be serious," are the words from his mouth as he takes the tool. I nod and he uses the tool to crack open the walnut, whereupon he sees that the shell had been previously opened and since glued shut, the insides removed and replaced with... "An almond," he says in shock, "You put an almond...inside...a walnut shell." "Open the almond," is my toothy reply.
"What's next? A sunflower seed?"h asks as he cracks open the almond. "The thought crossed my mind," I answered. He looks at me as though I am some form of demon as he sees what lays inside the final shell. I chuckled at his look, "But the paper didn't fit inside the sinflower seed." He reaches into the almond shell, pulling out a neatly folded piece of paper, with a lymric written on it.
"You are quite driven and determined as hell, to unwrap those boxes, and break through that last shell. Your gift is not here, but do not despair, this paper for you, has a secret to share. Search for the head, from body removed, then listen well, this I behoove. Inside a box your gift does not lie, but beneath your name, the final peice doth hide." (you've no idea how hard it was to fit all that on a piece of paper small enough to fit inside an almod shell, while still making the letters big enough to be read).
I hand him the scissors as he stares at me blankly, then I motion for him to search the boxes. He moves to the first box, which has his name written on the outside and begins cutting out the section with his name, peeling the paper back to find: nothing. The other people in the room begin motioning toward the lid from the third box, which he had placed upside-down on the floor. He looks over at it, noticing that another To/From nametag has been stuck to the underside of the lid. He made a face then began cutting away at the wrapping paper; the people in the office laughing lightly. "Yeah, yeah," he says with the smile of someone featured at a roast...not knowing they laughed because they saw what was coming next.
He peeled the wrapping back to find yet another piece of writing: "Look behind you."
With a glare that made me wonder at the wisdom of having given him those sharp-tipped scissors, he turned around to see me holding up his gift -which had been in my pocket the entire time.
Making a face as though biting his tongue, he set the scissors down, got to his feet and took the wrapped gift from me -at which point I picked up the scissors and hammer, then moved a few feet away...I had used a full meter of wrapping paper to wrap up his gift card.
As he finally pulled his gift free of the paper, he looked at the small card, then turned his head toward me, the entire staff laughing at his expression. He was expressionless a moment, then at last, he grinned, shaking his head and laughing. "You know," I said with a smile, "If you really want...you can keep the almond, walnut and toothpick box as well. Without those, no one outside this office will ever believe you if you tell them this."
So at my job, we do a Secret Santa thing each winter at a staff Christmas party (breakfast, some games, etc). For those that dn't know, secret santa is where people take small pieces of paper, write their names down, then toss them into a bag, which is then tumbled a bit to mix up the names. People then draw out 1 pice of paper, and whoever's name you draw (excepting your own), you must buy that person a gift for Christmas without telling them you will do so (hence the "Secret" in "secret Santa"). Well...we have a spending limit on the gift, and I didn't know much about the person whose name I drew, so I got him a goft card to a place, where he could exchange the card for a giftcard to several other places (that way he could get something he liked). Now, I had a tradition of making my wrapping jobs difficult on the person getting my gift, and as this was my last year with them, I wanted to do something that would remain a talked at for several Christmas parties to come.
The day of the staff Christmas party arrived, and after a few games and a potluck (everyone brings somethng to eat/drink) breakfast, we moved on to the gift-giving. I was one of the last to be called, but my gft was among the most anticipated -I had acquired a reputation for my wrapping jobs, and everyone wanted to see if I could top my previous year's gift boxes (A 27 inch TV box was the starter, it had two 15 pound weights in it to make the pperson think I may have actually gotten a TV, there were a total of five boxes that person had to unwrap -most of which I ws able to reuse in later gift wrapping).
I called the name of the person whose name I had drawn a month prior, and he walked forward and received from me a 13 inch by 13 inch box (the largest the UPS store would sell me without me actuaally shipping something). With a chuckle and a grin, he began unwrapping trhe first box, letting out an unsurprised laugh at finding another box inside that.
He took out the second box and unwrapped it, and found another box -only inches smaller than the second. He pulled out the third box, which, while wrapped, did not require unwrapping as the top was removable. He took off the top of the third box, placed the lid aside, and pulled out a very small -about 6 inches long by 4 inches high- fourth box, wrapped in aluminum foil (to be used for grilling later). Next to this fourth box, though, were 3 items: A hammer, a ntcracker, and a pair of scissors. He looked at me in confusion, I grinned and told him, "You're gonna need those in a bit."
With a confused and slightly worried look, he unfolded the aluminum foil around the fourth box, opening it to find, a fifth box.
He paused, looking back and forth between me and this new box...because this wasn't simply a box...it was a special box. People clammored around to look, laughing as he withdrew a 3 inch by 3 inch box -made entirely out of toothpicks (yes, I actually made a box out of toothpicks). He looked at me, asking how to open it, to which I smirked and reminded him I had provided him with a hammer.
So he takes the hammer and WHAM! Off comes one side, and out rolls...something. It's tiny, about the size of his thumb -and about the same shape, based on the wrapping paper around it. He unwraps the item, then stops. After a moment's hesitation he looks up at me, "You got me a walnut?" Most people in the room are laughing, thinking I really did just get him a walnut; but my grin grows larger and people's eyes widen as I hand him the nutcracker and say, "Open it."
"You can't be serious," are the words from his mouth as he takes the tool. I nod and he uses the tool to crack open the walnut, whereupon he sees that the shell had been previously opened and since glued shut, the insides removed and replaced with... "An almond," he says in shock, "You put an almond...inside...a walnut shell." "Open the almond," is my toothy reply.
"What's next? A sunflower seed?"h asks as he cracks open the almond. "The thought crossed my mind," I answered. He looks at me as though I am some form of demon as he sees what lays inside the final shell. I chuckled at his look, "But the paper didn't fit inside the sinflower seed." He reaches into the almond shell, pulling out a neatly folded piece of paper, with a lymric written on it.
"You are quite driven and determined as hell, to unwrap those boxes, and break through that last shell. Your gift is not here, but do not despair, this paper for you, has a secret to share. Search for the head, from body removed, then listen well, this I behoove. Inside a box your gift does not lie, but beneath your name, the final peice doth hide." (you've no idea how hard it was to fit all that on a piece of paper small enough to fit inside an almod shell, while still making the letters big enough to be read).
I hand him the scissors as he stares at me blankly, then I motion for him to search the boxes. He moves to the first box, which has his name written on the outside and begins cutting out the section with his name, peeling the paper back to find: nothing. The other people in the room begin motioning toward the lid from the third box, which he had placed upside-down on the floor. He looks over at it, noticing that another To/From nametag has been stuck to the underside of the lid. He made a face then began cutting away at the wrapping paper; the people in the office laughing lightly. "Yeah, yeah," he says with the smile of someone featured at a roast...not knowing they laughed because they saw what was coming next.
He peeled the wrapping back to find yet another piece of writing: "Look behind you."
With a glare that made me wonder at the wisdom of having given him those sharp-tipped scissors, he turned around to see me holding up his gift -which had been in my pocket the entire time.
Making a face as though biting his tongue, he set the scissors down, got to his feet and took the wrapped gift from me -at which point I picked up the scissors and hammer, then moved a few feet away...I had used a full meter of wrapping paper to wrap up his gift card.
As he finally pulled his gift free of the paper, he looked at the small card, then turned his head toward me, the entire staff laughing at his expression. He was expressionless a moment, then at last, he grinned, shaking his head and laughing. "You know," I said with a smile, "If you really want...you can keep the almond, walnut and toothpick box as well. Without those, no one outside this office will ever believe you if you tell them this."