The Dark Brotherhood

[john99944]

Heya, everyone. This is my first fan-fic that I ever wrote, so please give me some tips on how to make the story better. Also, we are recruiting members. If you want to join, PM me OR you can drop your application here on this thread. Just give me the following info of yourself:




IGN:
Nickname (optional):
Class:
Weapon(s):
Faction (good, bad, neutral):
Personality:

Note that I might make a bad character reform, or a good character cross over to the dark side. To avoid this, you can tell me if you don't want it to happen. Anyway, sit back and enjoy the show(you might wanna get some popcorn XD).

Contents:

Prologue


Book 1: Hostile Means

Chapter 1 Part 1: The Wrong Place
Chapter 1 Part 2: A Nasty Suprise
Chapter 2: Robot Pirates!
Chapter 3: A Narrow Escape
Chapter 4: Code Red!
Chapter 5: Marlone's Negotiation

Book 2: The Preparation

Chapter 1: (Epic) DavidsonSam V.S. Advanced Training Dummy
Chapter 2: Cornelius' Spirit
Chapter 3: The AMS (Anti-Marlone Society)


Characters

This section is all the characters in the story. Keep in note that there is alot of space. I'll will update the character list from time to time. The status tells if the character is in a chapter or if is yet to come. It also tells if the character is long gone or alive(active only).

Commander S. (aka Sneak)
Faction: Good
Class: Marlone Fighter
Status: Active, alive

DavidsonSam
Faction: Good
Class: Fighter
Status: Active, alive

cleric_john
Faction: Good
Class: Cleric
Status: Active, alive

Kregor
Faction: Neutral
Class: Mage
Status: Active, alive

Sniper_Guy
Faction: Good
Class: Archer
Status: Active, alive

Guard Captain Shutian
Faction: Good
Class: N/A
Status: Active, alive

Legendary Marlone
Faction: Good (reformed)
Class: Human Monster
Status: Active, alive

Charismatic Mara
Faction: Bad
Class: Human Monster
Status: Active, alive

Helga
Faction: Bad
Class: Boss Monster
Status: Active, alive

Deliora_Rose
Faction: Good
Class: Archer
Status: Active, alive

Harugo (aka Haru)
Faction: Neutral
Class: Archer
Status: Active, alive

Mysterious Anti-Marlone Society Leader
Faction: Bad
Class: N/A
Status: Active, alive

Latiosus (aka Latio)
Faction: Neutral
Class: Cleric
Status: Active, alive


Announcement

TDB(still) recruiting! The first book has been finished, but there is still a chance to join!

[john99944]

Prologue


Isya, home of the Henneath Alliance, a group of Adventurers who protect the world from evil. Recently, Adventurers have brought up the idea of Player versus Player, or PvP combat.This type of combat allows Adventurers to battle each other and test their strength. Sadly, this type of combat is very dangerous at some places, like the Abyss. Players who battle frequently in the Abyss have a high chance of dieing and losing EXP, making them unable to level up.

But nowadays, it is getting more and more serious. Some people who were killed in the Abyss were unable to respawn and turned into what are known as shadows. Very little is known about these creatures.

People are very cautious when entering the Abyss. Sometimes, people don't go into the Abyss at all. Little do they know that sometimes, Abyss is safer than some big cities...

The Mara Pirates have formed an alliance with Marlone, and are searching for the Relic of Isya, a powerful stone that grants the owner great power. Many people have tried to misuse it's power, so it was relocated on an uncharted floating island far away from the continent of Isya. One Mara Pirate has discovered the location of this powerful relic, and is going to alert Mara and Marlone...

[john99944]

Book 1: Hostile Means
Chapter 1 Part 1





The Wrong Place


[3 DAYS AGO
2300HOURS, ELDERINE]


A man in a dark coat approaches a coffee shop in a quiet part of Elderine. He hesitates before continuing to walk to the entrance. The mystery man enters the coffee shop. One of the waitresses looks at him suspiciously. She approaches the mystery man.

"Can I help you?" she said.

"I'd like a cup of tea, please," the man replied.

"So, what brings you here to this part of Elderine, hmm?" the waitress asked.

"Heard the food's good here. Thought I'd check it out."

"We almost never have customers here. How would you know that we have a coffee shop here?" the waitress asked suspiciously.

"Guess I came to the wrong shop to raid..." The man takes of his coat and hat to reveal he is a Mara Pirate. He threatens the waitress.

"I want information, old lady. Where's the Relic of Isya?" he said with an angry voice.

"I-I've heard that it's on Shadow Island but I'm not sure!"

"I see. Sneaker!" he called out. The chef walked into the room, uncovering his disguise revealing he is a Marlone fighter.

"Alert Marlone and Mara. We are going to Shadow Island. And just in case she tells anyone," the pirate said, looking at the waitress, "SACK HER!"

There was a scream from the coffee shop. It was heard by all four corners of Elderine.

[mary587]

Seriously What Is This?


What is this anway its not funny its boring and horrible (no offence) but THIS


IS

LAME

AND

ITS

TERRIBLE

HORRIBLE

INCERIGABLE

AND

NO

VEGETABLE

[mary587]

this fan fic is horrrible

[good_to_know]

It's not horrible, it's just little lame.

You started so good. With the shadows and aby ... and then the Mara Pirate comes in the scene and i was like FUNNY!!!

Just change the story a little.

HF

[john99944]

You liked it, huh? You should see mary587's story: "The Journey Begins". It's way funnier than mine...

By the way, what do I need to change?

[mary587]

still horrible to me!

[nikmon]

hey john99944, it seems as though (according to your previous comment) that you are open to criticism. Now the story isn't bad whatsoever, i think that mary578 couldve eased up on the comments she made; especially considering that you complemented her story. Here are a few tips from one fanfic writer to another:
(plus go ahead and check out my story Battle for Elderine, i haven't wrote in it for about 6 months but i intend on continuing very soon)

1st- very good prologue, its interesting yet brief, and still able to draw a reader in
2nd- the first chapter has nothing to do with the prologue and seems horribly off topic
3rd- extend the stories, when readers see short stories they actually tend to spend less time considering them
4th- i liked the path you were heading on in the prologue, i would actually advise possible scrapping ch.1 and start on a fresh note (that is unless you have a whole story mapped out.)
5th- read other stories for inspiration, mine for example is a suspense story as well and hopefully yours is too,

Anyway you can take my advice if you would like, and i strongly advise you to read my story as well. Dont be discouraged if your chapter 1 isnt great, no ones chapter 1 is their best chapter. Reading my series over, i can easily see the huge improvement in plot, writing, and grammar from chapter 1 to the end of book III. Hope to read more of your stories, the link to my story is in my siggy. Good luck!

[john99944]

So i have a reader? AWESOME! I'm just gonna post part two of the chapter.

[john99944]

Book 1: Hostile Means
Chapter 1 Part 2




A Nasty Suprise



[PRESENT DAY
1800HOURS, ABYSSMAL CAVE]


"Hyaa!" DavidsonSam delivered the final blow to his opponent. He looked over the defeated PKer who lay at his feet.

"Thats what happens when you PK," DavidsonSam said, "and I wouldn't do it again if I were you."

"Someday us PKers WILL win..." the PKer said before he faded away. He reappeared near the portal and hurried out of the abyss.

"Now that all the PKers are out, I should return to the OutHouse." DavidsonSam said. He was very exhausted and tired. Having completed his PKKing mission, he headed towards the portal. But just as he was a few inches away, the portal suddenly closed, trapping him, and the other players, inside!

"I have a bad feeling about this..." DavidsonSam said. He quickly took out his whisphone and whispered Kregor.

"Hello, Kreg? I need you to get me out of the abyss."

"Ugh, stop calling me Kreg! My name is Kregor, for Teva's sake. And why would you need my help to get out?" Kregor said, annoyed.

"The portal closed on me." DavidsonSam replied.

"What the [CENSORED] are you talking about? How can the portal close on YOU? How can it close anyway?" Kregor asked.

"JUST GET HERE NOW!" DavidsonSam shouted into his whisphone. The loud noise blasted into Kregor's ear.

"Fine, I'll see what I can do..."

Moments later, DavidsonSam heard an explosion. It came from the wall where the portal was.

"Well, its about time he showed up..." DavidsonSam said impatiently. But to his suprise, instead of Kregor, a bunch of mara pirates walked out of the smoke.

"Mara Pirates? I don't know what their doing here, but I'm taking them down!" DavidsonSam whispered to himself. He charged towards one of them, quickly cutting it down. "There," he said."Now to deal with the re-UNGH!!" His words were cut off by the pirate he thought he had defeated, which kicked him in the face!

"WHAT? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! I'm already Level 52 and I can't beat them?" DavidsonSam shouted, astonished. "Well, it doesn't matter..." he said, putting away his two handed sword and unsheathing his sword and shield. The pirate mocked him. "Heh, you're switching to a weaker weapon now that your strongest weapon failed? That's just silly! HAH!"

"Oh, I'll show you..." DavidsonSam said before charging at him with his shield. The pirate was knocked back. DavidsonSam charged again, pinning him to the wall.

"NOBODY makes fun of me!" he said angrily before pressing the pirate against the wall. The enraged fighter pressed harder and harder until he broke the pirate's bones. Seeing this, the other pirates quickly ran away, frightened.

'Why were the pirates harder to beat now? How, and why, would they want to dig a hole to the abyss? Did they somehow find a way to close the portal?' 'At least I found a way out...' DavidsonSam thought before walking out.

[john99944]

Bring
Up
My
Post
Please!

(BUMPP)

[T3h_SyN]

1st- very good prologue, its interesting yet brief, and still able to draw a reader in
2nd- the first chapter has nothing to do with the prologue and seems horribly off topic
3rd- extend the stories, when readers see short stories they actually tend to spend less time considering them
4th- i liked the path you were heading on in the prologue, i would actually advise possible scrapping ch.1 and start on a fresh note (that is unless you have a whole story mapped out.)
5th- read other stories for inspiration, mine for example is a suspense story as well and hopefully yours is too


Nik did a pretty good job on providing a good critique on your story. I liked the prologue, as short as it was it did set a mood for what was to come. The first chapter does, as Nik put it, feel off-topic but I think that's mostly because your prologue didn't exactly put you at a starting point. If I may offer a suggestion, the first chapter would do well to extend the prologue as it sets the mood for the story and provides a valid start point. I did like the first chapter, but it did seem that the shop was a bit suspicious itself... The second chapter though is honestly where the story starts for me and the only real problem (albeit it's not a big one) I have with it is your use of caps.

Using caps implies to the reader that either the person is shouting or stressing that word when they say it. For example "Please help!" is a read a lot calmer and softer than "PLEASE HELP!" regardless of context.
Alternatively if we stress different words in a sentence, for example, "That cat is ugly.", we can get varied results.
-"THAT cat is ugly." = You see that cat. The ugly one. I'm talking about him..
-"That CAT is ugly." = The dog is actually quite beautiful, his feline companion? Not so much.
-"That cat IS ugly." = I wasn't asking you if that cat is ugly, I was telling you...
-"That cat is UGLY." = Oh Em Gee, the sight of that cat has scarred a horrible, hideous imagine into my retina.

Apart from that your grammar is good, only a few mistakes here and there but hey we're only human. Just work on the length of you posts and you should be golden (remember 15,000 is the max number of letters and spaces for a post on this forum).


Kregor
Faction: Neutral(good in the start, bad in the middle, then good again at the end)
Class: Mage
Status: Active, alive


The underlined bit is a spoiler of sorts, I would advise removing it.




Seriously What Is This?


What is this anway its not funny its boring and horrible (no offence) but THIS


IS

LAME

AND

ITS

TERRIBLE

HORRIBLE

INCERIGABLE

AND

NO

VEGETABLE

incorrigibleadj
- Incapable of being corrected

And honestly it's not that bad. It could use some work yes but it's not horrible. If you want to see it improve and be not horrible then it would be wise to tell him what to change, give hims some advice to improve his writing style etc. I must say though, that last part of your critique made me laugh.

[john99944]

Thx for the advice. I edited the prologue and chapters.

So, anyone wanna be IN the story?

[T3h_SyN]

I might. Post a few more chapters first, then I'll make up my mind.

[john99944]

Author's note: Flashbacks and Recaps will be a little bit different in format, as you will see now...

Previously on The Dark Brotherhood...

Mara Pirate: Where is the Relic of Isya?
Waitress: I-I've heard that its on Shadow Island but I'm not sure!
_____________________
DavidsonSam: *the wall explodes* Well, its about time he showed up...
*mara pirates appear from the smoke*
DavidsonSam: Mara Pirates?





Book 1: Hostile Means
Chapter 2




Robot Pirates!




[1830HOURS, NEAR FOREST PERIMITER]

DavidsonSam ran through the tunnel that the pirates created. He had so many questions. Why did Mara Pirates enter the Abyss? How did they close the portal? And how did they make a tunnel and an explosion?

Suddenly a bunch of Mara Pirate Marines appeared! Only they were made of metal!

"What the..." DavidsonSam muttered to himself. Contraptions like that could only be built by Sniper_Guy, DavidsonSam's brother. Sniper_Guy was a very intelligent scientist. He built many machines that benefited the group, and even built a targeting system for his bow. Were the robots out of control?

DavidsonSam didn't care. He had to stop the robots before they went rampage in the city. He quickly charged at one. The robot pirate quickly noticed him and took action. Luckily for the fighter, the robot's moves were clumbsy and slow, and Davidson quickly gained the advantage, slicing off the robot's head. He quickly turned to the others, which were in battle stances.

DavidsonSam fought the robots and destroyed countless enemies. But just as he had the upper hand, a real, skilled pirate with dual-swords stepped up to him.

Davidson knew that this pirate might be the greatest foes he ever met...
__________________________________
"What happened here?" Shutian said, looking around the empty cafe.

It was the very cafe that the mara pirates 'raided' three nights ago. "I don't know, sir," a guard answered, "but there might have been a struggle here."

Guard Captain Shutian looked at the floor. Footprints were visible. Footprints the size and shape of mara pirate's shoes...

"I suppose...that the mara pirates are up to something...again..." Shutian said, sighing.

"What now, kidnapping or stealing?" another guard asked.

"Just kidnapping a waitress, nothing serious...I hope..." Shutian said.
___________________________________
DavidsonSam grunted as he was thrown back by the pirate's mystical powers (something like Star Wars' Force)once again.

"How do you do that?" Davidson asked, astonished.

"Special training." The pirate replied. "Now hold still and I'll kill you quickly."

"Why would I do that?" Davidson rocketed out of his sprawled position, leaping into the air, preparing to strike. Everything froze and the camera circled around the two combatants, making it look totally awesome.

[15SECONDS LATER]

"Hello? Still spining in the air?" The camera stopped at the original position it was in before, and everything unfroze.

"CHAINSAW TACK!" Davidson shouted. A ball of energy formed around the tip of his sword, and he hacked down, slicing through the pirate's armor and unmasking him (did I mention that the pirate had a mask?), revealing that he is Commander S. !

"So, your as strong as they say you are, huh?" The commander said. "Well, it doesn't matter! Cos you're never gonna see the light of the world again!!!"

Commander S. stabbed his two swords into the wall of the tunnel, causing a crack to appear. The crack reached the ceiling of the tunnel, and rocks fell from it.

"Hasta la Vista, babe!" Sneak said before teleporting away, leaving Davidson to his doom. The rocks didn't crush him, but they did block the way to the forest perimiter. He was trapped...

[TO BE C:eek:NTINUED...]

[luckthebest]

SACK HER!"

There was a scream from the coffee shop. It was heard by all four corners of Elderine.
Poor choice of words mate.

[tomoki260]

-that cat is UGLY
Oh Em Gee, the sight of that cat has scarred a horrible, hideous imagine into my retina.

Bet anyone who read that had pearls of laughter. Anways, nice story, interesting plot. Most importantly, it was HILARIOUS!





(By the way, what is incerigable?)

[mary587]

idk i just wanted to make ppl laugh in this forum to help my brother get fans

[john99944]

SACK HER!"

There was a scream from the coffee shop. It was heard by all four corners of Elderine.
Poor choice of words mate.


Yes, I know. Well, the first part/chapter always has a few bugs even for a professional writer, and I'm a NEWBIE.


-that cat is UGLY
Oh Em Gee, the sight of that cat has scarred a horrible, hideous imagine into my retina.

Bet anyone who read that had pearls of laughter. Anways, nice story, interesting plot. Most importantly, it was HILARIOUS!





(By the way, what is incerigable?)


Yup, it was really funny.

[john99944]

Okay, sorry for the double post everyone, but let me remind you all that I am still recruiting members for the story. So, without further ado...

BUMP XD!

[john99944]

Previously on The Dark Brotherhood...

Sneak: *sticks dual swords into the wall of the tunnel and rocks fall from the ceiling* Hasta la Vista, babe! *Davidson continuously dodges rocks but fails to make it out*




Book 1: Hostile Means
Chapter 3





A Narrow Escape



[1900 HOURS, NEAR FOREST PERIMITER]


"Ugh! Nothing's working!" DavidsonSam grunted as he slammed against the wall. His whisphone wasn't working at the time; it was out of power.

"There's gotta be some way out...wait! I've got it!" Davidson had an idea. He remembered the explosives Sniper_Guy gave him. Unfortunately he didn't have enough to destroy the whole wall of rocks. But if he placed it in the right position...

Davidson spotted a little crack between two rocks at the bottom. He set the bomb's fuse to 20 seconds, and quickly placed it in the crack. He ran to a safe spot and covered his ears.

The bomb counted down. 19...18...17...
________________________________
Kregor had finally reached the wall. He formed a fireball in his hand, ready to blow up the rock barricade.

Suddenly he heard a beeping noise. It came from the other side.
________________________________
5...4...3...2...1...BOOM! The bomb detonated. The explosion rocked the foundation of the wall. The rocks came crumbling down and the barricade was destroyed.

DavidsonSam got out of hiding and headed to the entrance. He had escaped.

'Wonder where Kregor is...' DavidsonSam thought. 'It's been about an hour.'

"Umm, a little help here?" DavidsonSam heard a voice. He looked down and saw Kregor, flat on the floor.

"You ok?" Davidson asked.

"I'm fine..."
_________________________________
Sniper_Guy looked at his watch, waiting for them to come out. Finally, they came out.

"Hey, Davidson! Hey, Kre-whoa! What happened to you?!" Sniper_Guy looked at Kregor, astonished.

"Three words. No. More. Bombs." Kregor said angrily to Sniper_Guy.

"Well, lets just go now." Davidson said. "Look, you brought Sky-Razor with you! Thanks." Davidson pointed to a big dragon with a spiked tail.

"It wasn't easy getting him to take us here. After all, he's only comfortable with you piloting him." Sniper_Guy said. Suddenly, a fighter with two swords jumped onto Sniper_Guy, slashing at his back. Sniper_Guy screamed in pain and fell to the ground.

"So, we meet again, eh?" the fighter said.

"You know this guy?" Sniper_Guy asked.

"He's the one who trapped me in the tunnel!" Davidson said.

"And I also closed the portal!" Commander S. lunged at Davidson. He unsheathed his sword and charged at the commander.

The two of them clashed swords non-stop. The fight was long. Finally, DavidsonSam managed to injure Sneak.

"Arrgh! That hurt!" Sneak said, stumbling back. Sniper_Guy pressed a few buttons on his watch and droids appeared, ready to capture Sneak.

"I would really like to stay," Sneak said, sheathing his two swords, "but I have a message to deliver." A yellow glow engulfed the commander and he dissapeared.

"Well, that was random..." Sniper_Guy said as Sneak teleported away.

"I'm not quite sure about that. I think he wanted something..." Davidson said. They got on Sky-Razor's back and they flew away.

"Somehow I think they have something to do with Marlone and Mara. Lets pay them a visit..." Davidson was interrupted by the grunting of Sniper_Guy. His wounds hurt like fire.

"...after we deal with that." Davidson finished.

[TO BE C:eek:NTINUED...]

[john99944]

Previously on The Dark Brotherhood...

Sniper_Guy: Well that was random...
DavidsonSam: I'm not quite sure about that. I think he wanted something...Somehow I think they have something to do with Marlone and Mara. Lets pay them a visit...*Sniper_Guy grunts in pain*...after we deal with that.
________________________________
Shutian: What happened here?
Guard: I dont know, sir, but there might have been a struggle here.
Shutian: I suppose the Mara pirates are up to something...again...





Book 1: Hostile Means
Chapter 4






Code Red!




[1930 HOURS, OUTSKIRTS OF URUGA]


The gang arrived at the Outhouse, a seemingly ordinary hut. Inside was where they would eat, rest, and sometimes even entertain themselves. They also got their mission briefing from there.

DavidsonSam placed his hand on a scanner. The door opened and they went inside.

"So, whats john doing?" Davidson asked Sniper_Guy.

"Well," Sniper_Guy said, trying to bear the pain inflicted by Sneak's swords, "he said he'll be doing something constructive...

When they got to the living room, they saw cleric_john jamming away at buttons of a game console controller.

"So, this is constructive?" Kregor said with a small grin on his face.

"Heh...well, there was nothing constructive to do around here..." cleric_john explained.

"Oh really? Well, you could have wiped the windows or swept the floor in the kitchen," DavidsonSam exclaimed, pointing to the windows and then the dusty floor in the kitchen, "or you can help SOMEONE with his wounds."

"Someone is injured?" cleric_john asked, pausing the game and whipping out his mace.

Sniper_Guy turned around so that the cleric could look at his wounds.

"Oh my, thats a big one. Hold on..." cleric_john said, casting a few heal spells. "Huh, each heal only has a small effect on it. Don't worry, almost done..."

[1 HOUR LATER]

"Just a sec..."

[2 HOURS LATER]

"Almost completely healed..."

[3 HOURS LATER]

"Can you hurry up, I'm running out of time cards." Davidson said.

"Err..."

[SO LONG THAT THE OLD NARRATOR GOT TIRED OF WAITING AND QUITED, AND THEY HAD TO HIRE A NEW ONE]

"And...done!"

"Ugh, finally..." Sniper_Guy said with relief. "I thought we had to wait until midnight...

"Err, Snipes?" Kregor said. "It's PAST mightnight..."

"Oh. No wonder I'm so tired...*yawn*" Sniper_Guy went to his room.
____________________________________
[0800 HOURS, OUTHOUSE]

DavidsonSam woke up. The first sound he heard were the birds tweeting outside. No, seriously, going on Twitter and chatting with others.

He just got up when the phone rang.

"Hello?" Davidson answered the call.

"DavidsonSam, CODE RED!" It was Shutian. "We've just found out that the Mara pirates have kidnapped a waitress. My sources tell me that they have brought her to the Burning Rock."

"In an unrelated story, a fighter with dual swords is now terrorizing Roumen, continuously killing newbie adventurers. We don't know what he wants..." Shutian continued. "Your job is to stop the fighter and save the waitress. If possible, defeat Mara and Marlone aswell."

"Yes sir!" Davidson hung up and got changed into his armor. Then he called the other guys in the Outhouse.

"Listen up! We've just got new orders from Shutian." Davidson announced. "A waitress has been kidnapped by the pirates 4 days ago. Also, the fighter we came in conflict with yesterday is terrorizing Roumen."

"What fighter?" cleric_john asked.

"You weren't there, you don't know..." Davidson replied. "cleric_john, you go with Sniper_Guy to Roumen. Kregor, you come with me to Burning Rock."
_____________________________
[0900 HOURS, ROUMEN]

Commander S. had just finished off a Lvl10 fighter.

"Aww, cmon! This isn't a PvP zone! How could you do this, man?!" The fighter exclaimed.

"Sorry, but I don't play by the rules." Sneak said, kicking the fighter's dead body.

"Ouch, that hurt!" the fighter said before teleporting away.

"Now to-UGH!" He was interrupted by a mace bashing on his head. "Owch...headrama..."

"Take that, Sheak!" cleric_john shouted.

Wwwait, did he just say Sheak? CUT!


Director: Your supposed to say "Sneak"!
cleric_john: Sorry, just have terrible pronounciation...
Director: And I have a terrible temper! *slaps cleric_john*
cleric_john: YOWCH! Fine, I'll do it right...
Director: Lets take it from the top, ppl!

Book 1: Hostile Means, Chapter 4, Scene 3 take 2, and...ACTION!

"Take that, Sneak!" cleric john shouted.

"I...feel dizzy..." Commander S. said before passing out.
__________________________________
[0930 HOURS, BURNING ROCK]

Davidson got off his dragon and surveyed the scene. He spotted Marlone's camp.

"There's his camp!" Davidson exclaimed.

"Great, now I can give him a taste of my mind." Kregor said, advancing towards the camp.

"Err, Kregor? Hey, wait up! There's something i need to tell you!"

"What, you think there are booby traps here? Well, think again, cos I have never seen a booby trap in Burning-" Suddenly a net rises above their feet."ROOCK!"

"I knew there were traps! But WHO didn't listen and sprung a trap? Oh, thats right. YOU DID, YOU KNUCKLE HEAD!" Davidson yelled at Kregor so loudly that Marlone heard it and sent bandits at them.

A few minutes later, the bandits arrived at the trap. They saw the dou dangling above their heads.

One of them pointed his sword at them. They both had a feeling that they were not gonna make it...


[TO BE C:eek:NTINUED]
__________________________________
And...The Dark Brotherhood is now recruiting! Time for new adventurers...I hope.

[mary587]

By The way im the one who gave him advice and he stole the title"The Dark Brother Hood" from a netendo game and im his little sister and he stole the to be continue with an emotion i used it on my bigger sisters account!!!!!

[hinata9966]

Hmm not bad acctually well eventually your not that good keep it up!

[john99944]

Thanks for the comments, but what I REALLY need are new characters: good guys, bad guys......
You know what I'm saying. I'd like people to join the story, and I've been waiting for quite a while...so please, please drop an application.

If you want to join, but you don't know how, simply go to the first post to find out.

~john99944 aka DavidsonSam~

[john99944]

Author's note: This is where the title of the first book came from...enjoy ^^Previously, on The Dark Brotherhood...

cleric_john: *bashes the commander's head with mace* Take that, Sneak!
Sneak: I...feel dizzy...*passes out*
___________________________________
Davidson: *is trapped with Kregor in a net* I knew there were traps. But who didn't listen and sprung a trap? Oh, thats right! YOU DID, YA KNUCKLE HEAD! *shouts so loud Marlone can hear it*
___________________________________
*marlone bandits arrive at the trap*



Book 1: Hostile Means
Chapter 5






Marlone's Negotiation






[0930HOURS, BURNING ROCK]


"Well, thanks alot, Dave..." Kregor blamed DavidsonSam. "Now we've got another problem!"

"Give it a rest, Kreg! This is BOTH our problem!" Davidson replied, frustrated.

"Come with us," a bandit said as he cut the net open,"The Legendary Marlone wants to see you."

The two of them were took to the very top of the hill, where Marlone was waiting.

"Ah, DavidsonSam. I've been expecting you..." Marlone said,"but who is the weakling with you?"

"You calling me a WEENIE?!?!" Kregor said with much anger inside him. His fists glowed with red energy, then it was converted to red lightning. Davidson remembered Kregor reading some kinda spell book of forbidden magic. This was one of them.

"Relax, now. I didn't trap you to fight you..." Marlone said calmly. "Rest assured, I will not harm you, for I have reformed." The news stunned the duo. Could it be that Marlone had stopped being evil?

"I don't trust you, Marlone." Davidson said. "How can we trust you after all the bad things you've done?"

"I'd thought you'd say that..." Marlone said snapping his fingers. Bandits came in and tied them up. "...so I prepared a little something." Marlone took out a CD and put it in a DVD player with a TV.

Ooh, TV time! Sit back and watch!


Hey, I'm Captain Shutian, or as you'd like to call me, Shutie. Today I'd like to talk about the Relic of Isya. You see, when an ordinary adventurer tries to absorb the mystical power of the relic, they explode!

"The horror! The horror!" Davidson shouted. "How can you make us watch this?!"

"Whats wrong with a documentary on the relic?" Marlone asked.

"It's not that..." Davidson replied,"It's the fact you're using a PIRATED DISC! THAT'S TERRIBLE!"

"Shh, quiet. I'm watching..." Kregor said, who had gotten two hands free of the rope and was munching on popcorn.

"Well don't be selfish, gimme some of that popcorn!" Davidson said, getting one hand free and grabbing a handful of buttery popcorn.


However, if they possess the seven Gems of Power hidden in many places of Isya, and use them to contain the power of the relic, then that person will possess unimaginable power. Thanks for watching!

"That was the worst documentary I have ever seen..." DavidsonSam said.

"Yes, I know, it was boring, but that is why I need you! Helga has the seven gems, and we can't let him get to the relic!" Marlone explained.

"So your plan is to get the gems, beat the hellgait to the relic and save the world as we know it?" Kregor said.

"Yes...that is why we have kidnapped people from Elderine, hoping they would know something. We have been doing this because people won't trust us if we try to negotiate. We have been using hostile means, but now we have someone to trust, we don't need to anymore." Marlone explained.

"Very well." Davidson said. "I'll tell the Henneath Alliance about your negotiation, and we will work together to stop Helga." They shook hands. "Oh, by the way, could you free all the hostages?"

"Alright." Marlone flicked a switch and the prisoners were released.
____________________________________
[0945HOURS, INTERROGATION ROOM]

Commander S. woke up in an interrogation room in Elderine. A light was shining brightly at his face.

Shutian was standing in front of him. "Good, you're awake. Now if you could answer a few questions..." he said, crossing his arms.

"And if you know what's good for you..." Sniper_Guy appeared. "You'd stick to the truth. I invented a lie detector. It can see if you're lieing or not." the archer said. "What are you up to?"

"Please, my master only wishes for the greater good! Helga is heading for the Relic of Isya, and we need to stop him!" Commander S. exclaimed. The lie detector showed he was telling the truth.

Just then, Sniper_Guy's whisphone rang. "Hello? Hey DavidsonSam! We just caught Sneak and we are interrogating him now. What? Really? IMPOSSIBLE! How could he? I'll call you back later, bro."

"What did he say?" Shutian asked curiously.

"He said that Marlone has reformed. Wonder about Mara..."

"She has also reformed."
______________________________________
"Ah, yes, my little brother, believe that Helga is REALLY trying to get to the relic, for soon I will absorb it's power, and rule the world!" Mara took out a gem. It was a Gem of Power!
______________________________________
[0946HOURS, HELGA'S TOMB]


"OR SO YOU THINK, MARA, FOR I WILL BE THE ONE WHO GETS TO THE RELIC FIRST!" Helga bellowed, showing that he has a gem of his own. "AND THIS TIME, NO ONE WILL STOP ME! MUAHAHAHAHA *cough* *cough* I need water..." Helga said, swallowing a few gallons of water. "Now where was I...oh yes! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And cue lightning!" A hellgait pressed a button and lightning is seen.

[TO BE CONTINUED]

{END OF BOOK ONE}

[john99944]

Book 2: The Preparation
Chapter 1





(Epic)DavidsonSam V.S. Advanced Training Dummy




[0YRS 0MTHS 3DAYS AMA(After Marlone's Alliance)
1200HOURS, ELDERINE]


"Ah, what a nice day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing and im ready to do a little more hunting." DavidsonSam said happily. He stepped through the portal to Collapsed Prison. He had to go there in order to get to his main hunting spot, Uruga. At level 55 and with high Endurance, he made the monsters at Goblin Camp seem like phinos.

Suddenly he saw a level 38 archer try to kite a Harkan. "Poor archer. She must be struggling to take that down. Too bad I can't help her or it will be considered Kill Stealing..." Then he looked at the archer's face. It seemed familiar. "Hey, is that......Deliora!"

Deliora_Rose was DavidsonSam's sister. The reason that Davidson had mixed siblings was because of the fact that his human father married an elf.

"I could use a hand here!" Deliora shouted, hoping someone would come to her aid. Suddenly, DavidsonSam lunged at the Harkan, tackling it down to the ground and finishing it off with a quick stab.

"Hey sis," Davidson greeted his sister. "How's it going?"

"Oh, hey Dave. It hasn't been going well since those Marlone bandits made an alliance with us. I mean, who would be stupid enough to actually allow them to just CRAWL into the city with their bandit germs!?" Davidson eyed Deliora.

"Oh, sorry......I didn't think it would be you..."

"It's ok." Just then Davidson's whisphone rang.

"DavidsonSam, its me, Marlone. Come to the Burning Hill for a special training. Marlone out."

"Well, I got to go now. Marlone wants me to train or something. Bye!" Davidson waved at Deliora.

"Ok! Be careful!" Deliora waited till Davidson was out of sight, and tried to kill another Harkan. "I could have finished the last one myself..."
___________________________
[1230HOURS, BURNING HILL]

DavidsonSam arrived at Burning Hill on his horse. Not a Pegasus, or anything special that can go to the speed of 200m per minute (unfortunately) but his old, lvl 20 hobby horse.

"Hello, Marlone. So, I have to ask a few questions..." DavidsonSam turned around and saw his brothers-cleric_john, Sniper_Guy and Kregor-getting knocked out one by one by a simple wooden dummy! Davidson was shocked! How could a piece of drift wood stand against AND defeat, the combined power of his siblings? It was impossible for something like that do the former or the latter, let alone the both.

"*ahem* You said you wanted to ask me about something?" Marlone waved his hand in front of the fighter, still staring at the dummy.

"Oh, yeah." Davidson returned to reality. "First of all, why did you switch your location here to Burning ROCK? Second, why did you return it? Third and the last, WHY IS THAT BUCKET OF CROSSBOW BOLTS BEATING MY BROTHERS?!?"

"Well," Marlone replied, "Firstly, I was afraid adventurers would interrupt making this alliance, second, that threat is gone now, and third, that is an advanced training dummy."

"Don't tell me I have to fight those things!" Davidson said.

"Well..."

"COS I'M TOTALLY INTO IT!" Davidson exclaimed. Marlone had a woried look on his face. He did not want him-the highest level to trust him-to be weakened too much.






[Duel Time! DavidsonSam V.S. Advanced Training Dummy]





3...2...1...FIGHT!

DavidsonSam lunged at the dummy, so sure about his 'immediate victory'. But just when he got close enough to slash his sword at it, suddenly a mace shot out of the dummy's chest, smashing at the fighter's head. Davidson screamed in pain.

Davidson needed a new tactic. He suddenly stabbed his sword into the ground.

"EARTHEN WAKE!" Davidson drilled into the ground. He appeared behind the dummy and dashed toward him silently. But just when he was a few meters away, the dummy spun around, shooting two poison-smeared arrows at his legs. Davidson stumbled and tripped.

"It appears that it waits for the right time to strike, unlike fighters who simply charge at the target. Interesting tactic..." Davidson thought. Suddenly the dummy took the opportunity to try to attack him, taking out a massive axe and trying to pin the fighter, but it was too slow and the fighter's actions were quick.

"Hold still!" The dummy shouted at the fighter.

"Sorry buddy, but you're going down!" Davidson suddenly performed something like a roundahouse kick. "CRUSADER'S BOON!"

The wind-based attack blew the dummy back. DavidsonSam got to his feet and prepared to deliver the final blow.

"VORTEX DISCHARGE!" Davidson suddenly rocketed towards it, one hand grabbing his two handed sword, the other with a ball of energy. He shoved the ball of energy at the dummy. Slowly the strong structure began to crack, and soon, it imploded.





[Victor: DavidsonSam! TO THE VICTOR, GO THE SPOILS!]
Maximun amount of duels won: 1
Maximun amount of duels lost: 0





"Wow, Davidson! You actually managed to defeat it!" Sniper_Guy exclaimed. "That isn't possible! It defies logic!"

"There goes my deposit on the dummy..." Marlone said, sadly.

[TO BE CONTINUED]

[tjroberson98]

IGN:Harugo
Nickname:Haru
Class:Archer
Weapon(s):xbow
Faction (good, bad, neutral):neutral
Personality:wildly fun

[john99944]

IGN:Harugo
Nickname:Haru
Class:Archer
Weapon(s):xbow
Faction (good, bad, neutral):neutral
Personality:wildly fun

Ok, your character will be added to the list of characters. It might take some time for your character to actually appear in the story, but dont worry. I'll get you in ASAP.

[john99944]

Book 2: The Preparation
Chapter 2







Cornelius' Spirit




[0YRS 0MTHS 3DAYS AMA
1230HOURS, BURNING HILL]


"How did you do that?" Marlone asked DavidsonSam after he finished of the Advanced Training Dummy. "Even my best fighters could not beat it! They all got killed!"

"KILLED?" Everyone was suprized. A single, seemingly weak training dummy killed Marlone's highly trained comrades, and only Davidson could defeat it.

"What level have you upgraded your troops to?" Davidson asked.

"76," Marlone replied, "and still they are too weak.

"Well..." DavidsonSam looked at the now broken dummy. Some parts were still intact: weapons. Davidson examined the weapons. Circular saws, swords, axes, shields, bows, wands, hammers...all the weapons known and unknown to Fiesta were packed in there.

"I think this scans your lvl, then it decides what difficulty to put. The harder you fight, or the more opponents it faces, the harder it fights back, eventually killing the target or targets." Davidson said.

"Hey, that was my line!" Sniper_Guy said.

"Well, as long as we defeated it..." Davidson began. Not noticably, a ball of energy formed from what was left of the dummy.
"...I'd say the training is over. I think we shou-" Davidson's eyes suddenly began to glow a bright light blue. You know, like this colour: llllllllllll No, its not because he has a power even he can't control...yet. The ball of energy just struck him. A ball of the same coloured energy formed around him, like an energy sphere.

DavidsonSam's spirit (unseen to the others) left his body. NO, HE'S NOT DEAD! Why do you guys keep asking these questions? Anyway, when he left his body, the purified spirit of the great dragon Cornelius circled around him.

"YOU HAVE MANAGED TO DEFEAT ME," a loud voice echoed, "AND YOU WILL HAVE ALL MY POWERS...BEHOLD, THE CHOSEN ONE!" The dragon spirit entered his body with DavidsonSam's spirit. The energy sphere disappeared and Davidson fell to the ground. Everything went black.
______________________________________
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T FOUND ANYTHING YET?" A hooded figure sat on a throne in the darkness.

"We haven't found any information on their alliance, but I suppose we can try again to-"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TRY AGAIN?! AFTER YOU FAILED ME ONCE, HOW CAN I BELIEVE THAT-"

"Sir, there is an archer with a crossbow outside. He says he has information." A guard interrupted.

"BRING HIM IN..." the figure said slowly.

Harugo entered the room. He told the strange man he found out that DavidsonSam was one of the commanding officers in Marlone's invasion army. "SO, HE IS THE ONE WHO DEFEATED CORNELIUS IN HIS STRONGER FORM?"

"Yes..." Harugo replied.

"LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE A NEW TARGET...A NEW EVIL ONE......" The mystery man looked at Davidson's I.D. photo. He burned the photo.

"KILL HIM..."

[TO BE CONTINUED...]

[dragons9887]

IGN: Latiosus
Nickname: Latio
Class: Cleric
Faction: (you choose)
Personality: Very short tempered

[devjin1]

Seriously What Is This?


What is this anway its not funny its boring and horrible (no offence) but THIS


IS

LAME

AND

ITS

TERRIBLE

HORRIBLE

INCERIGABLE

AND

NO

VEGETABLE


http://communitiesonline.homestead.com/files/troll_2.jpg

[john99944]

IGN: Latiosus
Nickname: Latio
Class: Cleric
Faction: (you choose)
Personality: Very short tempered


Alright, then. You can be in the story.



http://communitiesonline.homestead.com/files/troll_2.jpg

What's with the monkey pic?

[john99944]

Book 2: The Preparation
Chapter 3






The AMS (Anti-Marlone Society)




Davidson woke up in the OutHouse. He looked around. Nothing had changed.

The alliance, the battle, the dramatic scenario...everything was just a dream. But it seemed so real...

Davidson got out of bed and walked to the bathroom to wash up. But when he looked in the mirror, he noticed something about him had changed...

DavidsonSam was dressed up in a black and light-blue jumpsuit. He looked at his hands. They glowed with energy.

"Its real!" DavidsonSam screamed so loud, a part of Elderine's walls collapsed.
_______________________________________
"Whats wrong, Your Evilness?" A Hellgait soldier asked Helga.

"I...I sense a disturbance..." Helga said. "As if someone realized they had the powers of a mighty dragon and grew significantly in strength..."
_______________________________________
"I have powers of a mighty dragon and am growing significantly in strength!!! AWESOME!!!" Davidson shouted. "Now how do I get back to normal form..." Davidson concentrated and he returned back to normal.

"Now to step outside and breath the fresh air!" DavidsonSam opened the door, only to see that the place was surrounded by men with black clothing. A hooded figure pointed his crossbow at the fighter.

"Whats going on?" he said.

"Alright now, scum. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way." The figure reloaded his crossbow to emphasis his point. "Either way, its gonna hurt."

Davidson quickly kicked away his crossbow. Concentrating hard, he turned to...you know. DavidsonSam formed what looked like a bomb and threw it onto the ground. Smoke burst from the bomb, giving Davidson a chance to escape...but he didn't.

The clashing of swords could be heard from the smoke cloud. When the smoke cleared, nine tenths of the archer's battalion was defeated. All that remained was a cleric and two fighters.

"Get him!" The archer commanded them. Using his newly found powers, Davidson flung the cleric against a tree. With a few quick thrusts of his sword, he cut down his other two assailants. Then, the archer confronted him.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked.

"Don't know, don't care. I'm gonna slice you like butter!" Davidson lunged at the archer, but he easily dodged all his attacks. He quickly kicked up, and his leg connected with Davidson's face. Davidson stumbled back.

"Even if I were...Harugo?" The archer grinned under his hood. He took of his hood to reveal that he WAS Harugo.

"But...why?" Davidson asked. Behind him, the cleric had recovered (he's a cleric, he can do that) and charged towards Davidson.

DavidsonSam heard his footsteps and leaped up, dodging the attack. The cleric instead slammed into Harugo.

Davidson landed on his feet 50 yards behind the cleric. He raised his hand and a burst of wind shot out, blowing the two of them back. He then charged at them and spun around before hacking downward, causing chunks of earth to be raised, stunning them both. Davidson took the opportunity to escape.

When Harugo and the cleric broke free of the stun, the cleric attempted to pursue the fighter. Harugo grabbed his shoulder. "Patience, Latio. We WILL get him...soon. But right now, search his house for any other people."

Latiosus ran inside the house. He searched every single room. Nobody. Latiosus came out and shrugged.

"Then no one needs the house." Harugo picked up his crossbow and shot an arrow with dynamite stuck to it. The arrow stuck on to the rooftop. As Harugo and Latiosus walked away, the dynamite exploded, detonating the whole house.

[TO BE CONTINUED...]